A new study published today in 'sport doctor magazine' proves that tennis is bad for you. mostly the sport reduces a person's sense of self worth because of the funny uniforms and the bizarre head gear that players have to wear. the tennis helmets are very bad for the neck and back because of the sheer weight of them. an average tennis helmet weighs 10kg. also the new ruling that international competition be played indoors with c+c music factory playing continuously makes for lots of nervous breakdowns. and this is why the c+c music factory hospital is too full to take new patients. the only known cure for what doctors call c.c.m.f disorder is play the tennis albums backwards to counter the damage done. the other major reason why 'sport doctor magazine' says tennis is bad is because of the strict chicken-and-mayonnaise sandwich diet that tennis players have to stick to. too many of these sandwiches causes a fatty build-up in the base of the players neck so the head lolls about even worse what with the weight of the helmet. the designer of the first tennis helmet, a mr. howard jumpy, said in a recent interview that the tennis helmet could not possibly be bad for the players because anything that makes you look like a space robot has to be good for you. also he said that maybe the players should alternate the chicken-and-mayonnaise sandwiches with tuna-and-cucumber sandwiches.
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