Tuesday, December 9, 2008

"Hell Mask" For Public Transport

Public transport has got so much better lately because of the new thing that stops kids in the car in the next lane giving you the bird. it is called the 'hell mask' and only people in the window seats get them. its basically what it is, is that when you get in the bus you load up your 'hell mask' into the bus computer thanks to your swipe card. you just download the program and you make your 'hell mask' at home after dinner and dessert. so once you have done the swipe card trick you push the 'arm' button under the window and whenever it looks like a kid or bunch of kids is going to flip you the bird you hit the 'hell mask fury button'. this puts up a hologram that follows your facial features so it looks like your face is hell. when the 'hell mask' first came out in italy it was responsible for lots of damage because it also used the 'hell scream' and lots of drivers crashed. the 'hell scream' was truly terrifying. i once saw a man try to break through to the other side. so they toned it down somewhat. i like putting the 'hell mask' on and just riding around town and looking at the 'hell mask' in the reflection of the shop windows and trying to scare myself because like i said it is truly horrifying and i sometimes make rabbit ears behind my head so i laugh a lot. but only when there isn't anyone on the bus.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Movie Rummager

The cable tv station 'movie rummager' is really neat i think. for those of you who haven't heard about it yet i will give you the low down cheese. each day the producers pick a movie title out of a big bowl then they pick a scene from the movie and remake it so it lasts a whole day. it's really interesting because it's kind of like you are watching people who are somewhat confused and a little bit bored basically doing not much, but with really sweet sets and costumes. today is the scene from the movie parenthood where steve martin is cowboy dan at his sons birthday party. of course it isn't really steve martin, it's someone pretending to be steve martin. so it's kind of like being at a birthday party because it goes for the whole day but all the bits take a really long time and there is lots of interesting dialogue too. they use some of the original dialogue but they have to make up a whole bunch of new stuff too. there have been several hours of a bunch of kids standing in front of a man on a horse just milling about and i like it when they might clear their throats or scratch their heads. all of the actors do look pretty uncomfortable and you can see them talking to people off camera and being handed a cup of coffee. yesterday on movie rummager they did the bit from dirty dancing where swayze and jennifer grey are trying to dance on that log that goes over the stream. it was pretty tedious but they did have lots of nature cut-aways and i think i saw a man in the bushes.

Thursday, December 4, 2008


Electric animals i think are pretty cool. like the electric eel and the electric horse, so i am working on a proposal to send to the 'new animals research group' - or, narg - to try to get them to build be some new electric animals. i think i have a pretty good case because what with some animals becoming extinct and all, there should be better ones to take their place. so far i have written a bit over 200 words in my proposal. i want them to make me an electric rabbit - or i was thinking of calling it the 'sting rabbit - so when ever you touch its tail you get 1000000 volts of 'oh crap that hurt!' and i also want a tail piece to cover it up for when i am at home. mostly i will just use it on my enemy todd, but i didn't put that in the proposal. i hate todd. he has a cool haircut. anyway, i want electric rabbits (aka sting rabbits) and i want buzz cats as well. when the people at narg make your new animal they also make up the warning stickers you put on your gate like 'beware of the buzz cat'. the guy who draws them used to work at cracked magazine.