Cyclops Attack

If you are ever confronted by a giant cyclops there are really only a handful of things that you need to know in order to trick it. firstly, one should avoid fancy cafe's because they are coffee fiends, an average cyclops will drink up to 19 black coffee's each hour. aside from this method of avoidance, one will likely encounter a cyclops on public transport. and everybody needs to take the bus. even cyclops'. when threatened by a cyclops you should cover one of your eyes and make a noise like a washing machine. this noise is what a baby cyclops sounds like, and covering an eye will make it think that you are a cyclops baby. if these methods fail you have to try reverse-cyclops-scare-tactics like taking a bag of chalk and throwing it down in front of you so it looks like a magic potion, or by singing the national anthem. cyclops' are notoriously unpatriotic and this will give them such a headache that they will try to hurt themselves. if a bus full of people sing the national anthem, then the cyclops will rip its legs off, rendering it harmless. i have laminated these instructions if people need an all weather instruction sheet.