Each year professional athletes spend on average $6,000,000 on sports energy drinks. in a 4 page article in 'sports doctor magazine', dr. ernst yoghurst details a new surgery that will cut this spending dramatically. he has invented a procedure called 'jelly concentrate marrow augmentation'. this is how it works. you get all the marrow taken out of all your bones and then mix in with the marrow a slow release sports grade potency jelly crystal concentrate, then after it's all mixed up real nice the mixture goes back into the bones of the athlete. each procedure will last a professional athlete one decade (10 years), and it only costs $18,000. there is also a similar procedure for the domestic market, where they take out all of your saliva and then mix it with a less potent jelly crystal concentrate, then put the saliva back in. this should last about a year, and it only costs $70. some sports drink manufacturers are trying to ban both these operations but some are trying to get dr. yoghurst to use their sports drink ingredients.
